NAY to the 81st Academy Awards show

So I'm a bit late on this but I'm really confused by all the rave reviews for the Oscars this year. Unless you were watching them high on Ecstasy while dancing with glowsticks or frothing at the mouth in a straightjacket, you should not be raving about that show. I like movies, I like the Oscars and I actually can't argue with the winners they chose this year (although I was rooting for Rourke and it's a travesty The Wrestler wasn't nominated for Best Picture). I just think the show was a disappointment.

It's not Hugh Jackman's fault. Wolvie kicked ass in that clever opening number and did everything he could to save Baz (Cheeseball) Luhrmann's terrible salute to musicals which featured a lip-synching Beyonce and those annoying High School Musical sweethearts (thanks ABC/Disney). Other than that, Jackman was unfortunately stuck with very strict MC duties. 

Steve Martin and Tina Fey did their part with a smart and funny intro for the writing categories filled with mock sexual-tension. Judd Apatow did a great job getting the Pineapple Express duo together to salute the comedies of 2008 including stoner favourites like Doubt and The Reader. Rewarding Jerry Lewis for all of his humanitarian work was a nice touch. Heath Ledger's family accepting the Supporting Actor award on his behalf was pretty special. Sean Penn's acceptance speech was memorable. That's it. That's all I've got. My highlights cover maybe 30 minutes of this fatty 3 hour and 23 minute turkey.  

The hype promised these Oscars would be different. Unfortunately, they weren't different enough and the few differences they introduced didn't work. The producers seemed obsessed with history interspersing old with new throughout the show. Old clips of past winners littered the broadcast like it was a golden jubilee anniversary. Then old winners themselves (including a mummified Sophia Loren) were paraded out to toast the acting nominees with long "heartfelt" wedding speeches but no clip of the actual performances that earned them the nom. Ridiculous. It was like watching the most boring sorority/fraternity inductions ever with no beer pong or hazing in sight. They even tried a mind-melting scramble of loosely related clips of old movies into the actual Best Picture nominee videos. Great idea if you want to confuse the hell out of viewers. Terrible idea if you want people to actually understand what the "best movies of the year" are about. 

So NAY to you 81st Academy Awards show. You should have been cool like The Fonz but you ended up annoying like Steve Urkel. Call me when you feel like becoming must see TV again and I'll think about helping you out.