Jack Bauer is ridiculous. For a while he was ridiculously cool. Then for a few seasons the show lost its way and he became ridiculously predictable. Now in 2009, he's still predictable and you can bet your ass he's gonna shout "Lower your weapon" a few times, but it's ridiculously awesome to watch the man work. This week he successfully applied a sleeper hold on his longtime friend in order to gain access to a government traitor and torture him with a stun gun. I'm not talking about some sissy sci-fi pinch move that neatly drops someone to the floor (that's right I said it). I'm talking about a full-on, up close and personal, carotid compressing sleeper a la Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake. On his friend. Now that's badass.
Jack Bauer has become the ultimate TV action hero combining equal parts GI Joe, MacGyver and Captain America. He'll snap your neck with his feet while his hands are tied behind his back. He'll disable the bomb just in the nick of time. He'll put his country before himself at every turn. Case in point ... the show takes place over 24 hours and this guy doesn't stop for the call of nature even once because the call of duty is a higher priority to him. Now that's will power. I love Canada but I also love Pepsi so there would be more than a few interruptions in the show while I crack a can or two and break the seal. That's why I'm not Jack Bauer. I am weak.
So YAY to you Jack Bauer. You have my respect, my admiration, and a very hot daughter. I salute you!
P.S. Please don't kill me.
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