There it is folks. The rhinovirus in all of its cute and cuddly glory. Don't be fooled though. This nasty microbe is a total asshole that would love nothing more than to ruin your day. Planning on getting together with friends? Prepare yourself to be treated like a leper and that's only if this little guy doesn't knock you on your ass so hard that all you want to do is stay home and lay in a fetal position under 5 blankets for a few days. Planning on going to work? Get ready to embarass yourself in front of co-workers while you try to dab at that constant stream of snot flowing down your face. Not a pretty picture. Big business is making billions off of cold remedies but I'll be damned if any of them work as effectively as they promise. If I want a horrible tasting way to chase away a cough, I'm guessing I've got an equally good chance with a glass of scotch as I do with a dose of Buckley's. And why do we have the medical technology to grow 8 babies simultaneously in one woman but no answer for this giant worldwide pain in the ass? Ridiculous.
So NAY to you common cold. I hope you're laughing it up but enjoy it while it lasts. The bird flu will steal your spotlight soon enough. You ain't bad. You ain't nothin'. YOU AIN'T NOTHIN'!
Laddie, may I present to you the cure (or at least a really good remedy) for the common cold:
ReplyDelete- 1-2 ounces scotch or whiskey
- 1 good squeeze fresh lemon juice
- 1 big gloppy tablespoon honey
- fill the rest of your mug with boiling water
- down it while huddled in bed
I promise, you'll wake up feeling like a new lad. Or at the very least, less like a lassie.