NAY to Susan Boyle

I'll fess up. I have a deep disdain for glorified talent shows like American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance and the rest. It's just not my thing. Maybe Tiny Talent Time was cool when I was a kid but now I'd rather watch a well-written scripted show than waste my time seeing hopefuls arbitrarily judged by a panel of "experts" or worse yet, the viewers at home. I do have to hand it to the producers of these types of shows for perfecting the art of storytelling that makes people actually connect with the contestants and sends ratings through the roof. Case in point - Susan Boyle.

That's right. Boo. Hiss. Bring it on. I'm not denying the woman can sing. She has a great voice but Simon Cowell and his producers have made her an instant worldwide celebrity and it doesn't feel genuine at all. In fact it feels downright repetitive. A couple years ago there was another surprising performance that got some attention on Britain's Got Talent. I remember seeing the clip of Paul Potts (not to be confused with Pol Pot) making the rounds on e-mail. An average looking cell-phone salesman with an operatic voice. Quite a story but he didn't explode into the mainstream media ... he faded away. So why hasn't Susan? Was Paul just not "average" enough?     

Nope. It's because a couple years later lazy news networks report on YouTube clips all the time as if they're actual news. Producers have learned that a 3-minute viral clip will generate more attention than a million dollar marketing campaign. People who normally wouldn't give a crap about a talent show suddenly pay attention because their friend e-mails them a clip and then dutifully pass it along like a pyramid scheme. Remember the clip of the bride who had a meltdown about her hair and it turned out to be a promotion for Sunsilk shampoo? It's brilliant, it's completely evil and it created a monster. A new breed of instant celebrity.  

So NAY to you Susan Boyle. You are a lovely old Scottish lass with a wonderful voice but you were all of that before the world discovered you. Now you are just a cog in the machine of ratings, makeovers and CD sales. I will have no part of it.